


I Had A Pair of Princesses in Two Sharp Squares

by StupidFics



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Based on Cannon Events, Based on a fansong, Blood, Canonical Character Death, F/M, I really suggest you listen to it if you haven't already, I'll put a link in the beginning, Self-Hatred, Ugly Story
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-09
Updated: 2014-08-09
Packaged: 2018-02-12 08:23:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,465
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2102400
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StupidFics/pseuds/StupidFics
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>But then I guess I bored them both to death...</p>
<p>Based on the fansong Ugly Story by tumblr user phemiec.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Had A Pair of Princesses in Two Sharp Squares

**Author's Note:**

> Ugly Story: http://phemiec.tumblr.com/post/19372728823/this-is-a-song-about-a-whale-no-this-is-a-song

You're a prince.

This should be a good thing, shouldn't it? Hah.

It's ironic how you can take anything hopeful in my life and destroy it unintentionally in the blink of an eye.

That's just the life of the Prince of Hope. Watching everything you've ever loved leave you, just like that.

Even everything you've ever hated in the romantic sense. It's all gone. And now the last ounce of hope left that you could have ever held is dying.

You.  
You are dying.  
You see your legs next to you. You're surprised you're not dead yet. You've been cut in half for fucks sake. It's just your luck to get a chainsaw through your stomach and then have a slow and painful death after that. Now you just have to feel yourself lose all of your blood. Great.

The royal purple that was your key to wealth and authority on Alternia is flowing onto the dirty floor of a room in a meteor flying through space. Someone of your stature shouldn't die like this. You're better than this.

But honestly, are you?  
You've been thrown away by everyone you've ever met.  
The hate of your life.  
Your 'solumate'.

Why do you still love her? It's a question that you never chose to answer, but always find yourself asking.

Back in the good old days, you never thought this would happen. This never even crossed your mind. Someone you shared a fucking quadrant with killing you.

You try to remember back when things were better.

* * *

"Mindfang." You spit the name of your Kismesis' ancestor at her.

"Orphaner Dualscar." She shoots you a devilish grin. "We have trolls to kill."

The two of you have sailed Alternia's seas together, just as your ancestors have done before you. You both wanted to be just like them, so it was natural that you two start a kismesistude that's as legendary as theirs.

You and Vriska spent nearly your entire grubhood together. You two would FLARP together when you were younger. It worked out well for the both of you. Vriska could feed the trolls you killed to her lusus, and you can feed the dead trolls lusi to Fef's lusus. It was a perfect cycle. And to top it all off, the two of you got a shitload of treasure from it.  
You hated her with all of your heart and she knew it.  
She absolutely despised you.

You were the absolute hottest iron in her fire. You felt like you were on top of the world.

And then she left you.

 

"I told you to screw off and leave me alone!" Your ex kismesis begins to slam her door in your face. You block the door with your foot.

"Just give be a reason, Vris. Just give me a bloody reason why you're dumping me."

Vriska opens the door a bit, but doesn't let you in her hive. "We aren't grubs anymore, Eridan." She says.

"No shit we aren't grubs. That ain't a fuckin' reason."

"Will you shut up and let me finish!!!!!!!!" She exclaims and sighs at you questioning her. "I'm bored of how we do things. I don't need you to help me find my ancestor's treasure or to kill trolls for my mom anymore."

That was a shitty reason to break up with you.

You can't stand her right now.  
You need her.

You grab Vriska by her shirt and pull her into a kiss. A kiss that shows her your passion for her. How you completely despise her.  
She pushed herself out of the kiss and away from you.

Vriska wipes you from her mouth. "Fuck you."

"You giant god damn bitch." You snarl.

"Just get out of here, you homicidal douchebag."

"You're a homocidal bitch. This is why we get along."

"It's how we used to get along." She corrects you. "Just don't ask me for doomsday devices when your empty genocide threats get to your head, cause I'm never selling you any weapons again."

 

You can't believe what you're hearing.

This fucking bitch.

 

"But what about Dualscar and Mindfang?" You question again.

"You AREN'T Dualscar. He's eight times the man you'll ever be." She spits at you.

You take a moment to process that. You and Vriska never brought up the fact that your ancestors were different people than you were.

Vriska was the only person who understood the connection you felt with your ancestor, cause she felt the same way.

"W- well you aren't Mindfang either." You stutter back as you try to cover it up and sound threatening.

"Mindfang can do better and so can I." Vriska states. This time, she successfully slams the door in your face.

 

And that was when you lost your first princess.

* * *

 CA: i decided i havve something i wwant to tell you

CA: that ivve been meaning to get off my nub for a wwhile noww

CC: O)(, really? CC: T)(at's good! Actually, I )(ave somet)(ing I )(ave been meaning to say to you too.

CA: wwhoa really

CA: uh

CA: wwhat is it

CA: you go first

CC: Mm, okay.

CC: But t)(is isn't easy to say!

CA: yeah i knoww

CA: its ok maybe i wwill understand more than you think

CA: wwe might evven be sayin the same thing

CC: Okay, I )(ope so.

CC: I t)(ink...

CC: Now t)(at we are bot)( in t)(is game, and )(ave left our world be)(ind...

CC: And you can no longer pose t)(e danger to our people t)(at you )(ad always planned to...

CC: I t)(ink it is not really necessary for me to be your moirail anymore.

 

When you thought you had her, she was already halfway out the door.

 

CA: fef have you thought about

CA: since you dont wanna be pale with me no more

CA: the possibility a some other type of arrangement with me

CC: What do you mean?

CA: i mean

CA: somethin a bit more

CA: kinda reddish

CA: like

CA: brighter red

CC: 38O

CC: No, I hadn't thought about it!

CA: ok well what do you think about it

CA: now that youre thinkin about it

CC: Um...

CC: I really don't know about that.

CA: why not i thought you said you liked me

CC: I do! But I don't know if it's really in that way.

CA: couldnt it be though

CA: dont you think theres room in your collapsin and expandin bladder based aquatic vascular system for those feelins

CC: I've never had a chance to consider anything like that! I have just spent all my time worrying about you and trying to keep you from killing everybody or hurting yourself.

CC: It took all my energy.

CC: I don't think I have anything left for those feelings either.

* * *

 "I'm about to go. Please come with me." You look into Fef's eyes as you ask her.

She tilts her head in confusion. "Go with you?" She asks. "Eridan, you weren't really serious about going to find Jack Noir, were you?"

"Of course I was." You scoff. "And we should do it together. You've got nothing to fear now i've reached a' new heights of power no one else could dream of. Not even Mindfang and her new orange sweatsuit and her silly flappy wings and all her poppycock about luck which everyone with a thinkpan knows to be the fakest fiction that ever failed to exist."

"Thith ith the motht hilariouth thing i've ever heard" Sollux interrupts, laughing at your completely valid plan. "He made one of his fake wands glow a little and now he thinks he's some kind of fairy god troll."

"Was that slander I just heard?" You ignore Sollux. "I can't even tell. I tend to block out noise from filth whos blood is practically a complementary colour 'a mine."

"He has a point though." Feferi states. "That you may be overestimating your abilities. Jack Noir is EXTREMELY powerful Eridan! I don't want you to do anything foolish by trying to fight him."

"Fight him?" Feferi thinks you'd fight that guy? "Are you fuckin' nuts? A' course I'm not gonna fight him, I stand no chance in hell against that guy." You can see relief in Feferi's eyes. "I'm gonna join him."

"YOU'RE WHAT???" Feferi's prior relaxed state turned into one of sheer horror.

"And you're gonna join me in joinin' him too." You get up, prepared to leave. "Come on Fef, lets go."

Sollux holds her back. "Ok, that'th it. He'th lotht it."

"NO I AM NOT!!!" Feferi exclaims. "And you aren't either. That's GLUBBING INSANE! I thought you were the Prince of Hope? How is it hopeful to surrender to a murderous demon like a COWARD???"

"As the Prince of Hope, I'm uniquely qualified to recognize when all hope is lost, and I'm tellin' you theres no hope left. Not even a bit. The only thing left to do is ta' serve him and hope he spares us. And I want you ta' come with me cause even though ya don't think so, I really do care about you.  
Servin' under Jack together, we'll be unstoppable. What do ya say?"

"No Eridan. That's it. This makes me very sad, but now we have to stop you. We can't let you find Jack and risk you leading him back to us."

"Oh." You glare at her. "So that's how it is."

"Thhe'th right, man." Sollux adds. "I thhould've killed you on LOBAF when I had the chance."

"Well, I gueth it'th only fitting if I take you down in round two." Sollux says as you see his psiconics start to flare up. The red and blue flare around his arms as he challenges you, "You ready, Prince?"

You snarl at him. "Bring it, Mage."

 

The two of you face eachother and start your duel. Feferi yells at the both of you to stop. You both choose to ignore her.

Sollux begins to levitate himself with his psiconics and shoots beams at you.  
You dodge the beams and take off your cape by gracefully pulling it off and throwing it to the side. You grip your sience wand and start to levitate yourself just as Sollux has done to himself.

Sollux lets a beam of his psiconics out of his eyes, aimed right at you. You shoot a beam of science from your wand and the white clashes with his red and blue. It doesn't take long for your science to overpower his psiconics. It throws Sollux across the lab. You watch him crash into the wall. His body drops and you see his disgusting piss yellow blood leave his head.

You smirk in victory.

Feferi runs to Sollux's unconscious body.

She turns to you, with her trident in hand, ready to attack with a look of anger on her face.

You hold your wand as she charges toward you.

The same look stays in your eyes.

You can't stop her.

She's too angry.

As she comes closer and closer, you know you have to do it or you'll be killed.

You aim your wand up towards her and let some power out.

 

You hear her trident drop to the ground.

You see the white beam go through her chest.  
Feferi's eyes are opened wide in shock.  
Her beautiful, rich, fushia blood starts to pour out of her.

She slowly drops dead on the horn pile where she last sat with Sollux.

Dead.

Feferi Pexies is dead.

 

You realize this with a thud, and a few honks from the horn pile that her weight set on the horns created. You eye the room.

 

You have lost your second princess.

* * *

That wasn't too long ago, and now look at you. 

You, Vriska and Gamzee have apparently committed murders. 

And god knows how the fuck Kan came back to life. She ended up going on a little rampage of her own by killing you, kicking Gam right in the bonebulge, and laying a nice punch on Vriska's face. 

Wherever the hell Gamzee is, at least he isn't dead. You're actually really fucking confused about Gamzee. He had Nep and Equius' blood on his clubs. Gam is the last person you'd expect to go haywire and kill some of the nitwits on this meteor. Karkat always mentioned him being addicted to that slime pie. From what you know about that guy, you've always assumed he was a bit messed up in the thinkpan. Not messed up enough to kill, though. Even though he is a highblood, most of the highbloods in this session are pretty fucking mellow, aside from you and Vris. 

Like you summoned her with your mind, she gets up and rubs the part of her face that Kanaya hit. You can already see a bruise starting to form. 

"Vriska." You try to mumble out her name.  
She looks at you. She sees you bleeding out.

"Vris, save me." You beg.

She looks at you. You can't tell what type of a look she's giving you, you've lost so much blood that your vision had blurred significantly. 

"Why should I?" She asks you. 

"We can go together." You start to explain. "We can find Jack. We can join him. And with whatever bullshit luck and light powers you claim you have now and new powers I recently got, we can be unstoppable."   
You hear Vriska make noises that sound slightly sarcastic. That sounds like her. Bitch.   
"We can be like Dualscar and Mindfang, but better. Better than we were. Better than they ever were or could've been. Everyone would tremble in our presence cause we'd be so powerful." 

Vriska laughs at you. "It's been over half a sweep and you're STILL now over me? Ha! Give me a break, fishface." 

"V-Vris" You stutter softly. 

"I don't need this. I'm a fucking GOD now. That's what these cool pajamas do to you." 

"And stop trying to win me back, Eridan. It's NEVER gonna happen. Never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever.Get over it." 

As you try to explain to that fucking bitch that you're offering her nearly unlimited power with your proposal, she leaves and you lose the ability to get words out. 

 

You feel your life slipping away from you slowly. 

All you have left are these memories of your past rejections. It's all a schmuck like you has. 

You shouldn't be losing all of your blood, having your vision quickly blur as you feel yourself bleed out. You feel your life slipping away from you. It started out slowly, but then it started to happen quicker and quicker until it all came to a stop. 

It shouldn't end like this. 

You're a prince. 

 


End file.
